


Dr. Stilinski's Path to Self Healing

by peenwolf (cissues)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, Discussing traumatic events, Highschool AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-17
Updated: 2012-10-19
Packaged: 2017-11-14 10:51:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/514461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cissues/pseuds/peenwolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles and Derek are failing chemistry and are forced to study together.  In that time, Stiles decides that he's going to help Derek out of that funk after his father and brother died in a house fire.  He ends up biting off a bit more than he can chew, but damn if he's not going to try.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Study Session 1

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my god this is one of my favourite Teen Wolf things I've ever written. Highschool AU where Derek is a second year Junior and Stiles is a Sophomore. Laura and Mrs. Hale are still alive, but Derek still hasn't recovered from his dad and little brother's death. Pretty cute and angsty. I have a few chapters so far so WOO HAVE FUN.

Stiles would rather be rotisserie’d alive and served on rye bread then be here right now. It’s the third day of his Sophomore year and he already wants stab himself in the eyes, those of which were losing focus as he stared at Mr. Harris. The man’s voice sounded like buzzing and soon Stiles was more interested in staring out the window at the squirrel with an abnormally long tail dancing around the squirrel with the stubby tail. ‘It’s not the size that matters, boys!’ He reminds the squirrels through telepathy, but they kept leaping at each other anyway.

“Mr. Stilinski?”

The voice pulled Stiles out of the intense battle unfolding before him, turning his attention to the front for once. Mr. Harris was giving him a look that said something along the lines of “Really, Stilinski? It’s the third day, don’t make me give you a detention.”  
Contrary to what his expression was saying, Mr. Harris gave Stiles a detention.

The science room smelled like sulfur from the experiment for the day and Stiles squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. Derek Hale was sitting three seats down and two to the right and Stiles honest to god could not stop staring.

Derek was a second year junior, failing his last year after he dealt with some unfortunate circumstances involving his dad, two younger siblings and a house fire. His mother and older sister survived, but it obviously hit Derek hard. The guy had changed drastically from before the fire. He used to be a little more smiley, he joked a little more, had normal relationships. Now he just moped around and glared at people and lurked. It was unsettling what one bad thing can do to a person. Stiles remembered that, for a little while after his mom died, he was a bit like Derek was. He didn’t want to talk to anyone in fear of having to talk about his mom, he didn’t want anyone to try to be his friend, he just wanted to be left alone. But he outgrew the mope, Derek’s been wallowing in it for years.

Tapping his foot against the floor, Stiles watched Derek lounge in his seat, idly scratching at the homework in front of him without actually doing anything. Stiles noticed that the homework was chemistry and realised that Derek was probably in here for not completing homework or refusing to do assignments. He was mysterious like that. Or maybe just lazy.

After Mr. Harris dismissed the detention class (surprisingly made up of more than just Stiles and Scott this time) Stiles jumped to collect his stuff.  
“Stilinski, Hale.” The teacher barked out before either student could leave. He gestured for the two to approach the desk, that of which both did cautiously. Derek threw a glance at Stiles, looking confused and slightly disgusted. It wasn’t as if Stiles was popular. He was often pushed around during lacrosse practice, and games, and in the locker rooms, and in the hallways... basically everywhere, by everyone. The team took extra pleasure in torturing him, however, and Derek was no exception, although he did back off more than the other guys.

“Look, you two are probably my worst students--”  
“I get A’s on all of my tests!” Stiles interrupts. Harris holds a finger up.  
“When it comes to work. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten a completed assignment from you, Stilinski.” He turned his eyes to Derek. “I don’t even get work from you, Hale!”  
Adjusting his glasses, Harris gestured blindly for a moment before placing his hands on his table. “I want to two of you to work together from now on. I think you could really help each other. I know you’re both smart, you just lack the motivation.” He sighed softly, handing each student make up work. “Start immediately if you have to. If your grades don’t improve then I’m going to have to speak to your parents.”  
Harris gestured between the two students before waving them off in a dismissal. Derek was scowling -- full out, wrinkle-inducing scowling -- and giving Stiles one of his patented “I’m going to fucking kill you” looks. Stiles shrugged, hands in his hoodie pockets and homework under his arm. “I’m not gonna argue with Harris, dude. We can either deal with this like civil adults or we can fail this class.” Stiles frowned deeply for a moment. “And I can’t fail this class. I’m not gonna repeat this year--” He stopped at the frustrated groan that very much suggested to Stiles that he shuts up for a moment.

Derek rubbed the bridge of his nose, staring at the patterned tiles on the floor. “Yeah, fine. But no one can see me leave with you. No one can know about this. I can’t repeat another year, either so I have to do something.” He had this pained look on his face that made Stiles’ metaphorical, slightly sarcastic heart clench. He didn’t really care about Derek, but he definitely needed the credit.

They walked out to the parking lot where Stiles’ jeep sat waiting for him. Stiles was unsure of whether or not Derek was wanting to start the studying tonight or not, but when the guy started standing impatiently next to the passenger door, Stiles took that as a positive sign. Popping the door open, he gave his guest an inquisitive look.  
“What?”  
“Where are we going?”  
Frowning deeply, Derek finally shrugged and started giving Stiles directions.

And that was it. That was how Stiles got to see the inside of Derek Hale’s house.

It was actually pretty big, but Derek had explained that the place had been in the family for ages. They’d restored it after the fire but Stiles could practically smell the death and ash the moment he stepped through the door. Maybe it was just his mind. Maybe it was the portraits of dead relatives hung up on the walls.

“My room is up here.” Derek grumbled, but Stiles noticed how he was visibly more relaxed in his own home. His shoulders were lax and expression was smoother. He’s in his territory.

As they made their way up the staircase, Stiles inspected the home, the walls and the decorations. It was beautiful, in all honesty. Well crafted, obviously loved and worn around the edges. Stiles would love to have lived here as a kid. Running up and down the staircase and exploring the empty rooms. It would be like a giant playground for him.

Derek slipped easily through a door with ‘Derek’ spelled out in swirly, black letters across the white surface. Stiles snorted quietly at it as he followed Derek into the room... which was ridiculous. His jaw was slack as he glanced around at the grey walls accented with black, curling designs. On the walls, posters were pasted everywhere of bands and movies that Stiles had never heard of. Rich people stuff, he thought. It looked like Derek had his own sitting room ten feet from his bed and dresser, complete with large, flat screen television and gaming consoles. Derek’s bed, alone, was probably half the size of Stiles’ room.

“Your room offends me.” Stiles sniffed, flopping down on Derek’s bed. Derek glanced over from where he was rifling through his school bag on the sofa before shaking his head and pulling his chemistry homework from his bag and stalking over to the bed. “You know, there’s a couch over there.” He jerked his thumb towards the furniture and table that looked practically made for homework.

Stiles shook his head, patting the spot on the bed beside him. “Oh no, I am sitting on a bed that could easily fit a family of starving Africans. I am not going to give up this incredible lounging opportunity.”  
Derek just rolled his eyes, laying down on his stomach next to Stiles. “Fine.” He grumbled. Stiles’ eyes drifted idly down the curve of Derek’s back and straight to his ass. Swallowing, he recalled that Derek was, in fact, the co captain of the lacrosse team, so of course he would have muscle upon muscle... upon muscle. Of course his... fucking ass would be perfect, hugged and supported by the most likely hundred dollar jeans his mommy buys him. Stiles clicked his tongue as he forced his eyes back to the work.

Now, Stiles has always had an appreciation of the human body, male or female, and he’s pretty alright with shamelessly admiring said bodies... but when that body belonged to a relatively popular straight guy that he was going to be forced to spend evening upon evening with, his admiring becomes a bit more dangerous. He prefers to keep his balls intact, thank you.

After forty five minutes of trying to get Derek to understand what a pH is, they decide to take a break. The break includes lying on the floor of Derek’s personal living room playing Left 4 Dead 2. About ten minutes into play time, Stiles glanced over at his study buddy, a studious expression on his face. “Out of curiosity,” He started, turning back to the screen, thinking and choosing his words carefully. “What did your dad do?”  
The game paused and Stiles started chewing his bottom lip out of nervous habit. When he finally looked over at Derek, the guy had this awful look on his face, as if it was split down the middle, half angry, half confused. He cleared his throat and turned back to the game, unpausing it. “He’s... he was a vet. For the zoo.” Stiles could hear the guy swallow thickly. “Worked with the pregnant animals and doing any other work they needed, like if there was a fight or something and an animal needed to be patched up.”  
The southern drawl of Ellis telling some stupid story about he and Keith filled the silence for a moment before Derek started talking again. Neither of them were actually playing anymore. Nick and Rochelle were standing there, making small, computerized movements as Stiles and Derek stared at the screen.

“He used to let us come in and see the newborns before everyone else.” Sneaking a glance, Stiles noticed a small smile pulling at Derek’s mouth. “There were these wolf cubs. My sister, my brother and I would go down all the time to go play with them. There was this one, this dark brown one that I really liked. The staff ended up naming him after me because he would follow me around everywhere and they said he acted like me, too. Every so often Laura and I will go back to the wolf exhibit. She had her own wolf, too. A lighter one that I guess has her own pups now. She ended up being the next alpha female. Alan had one, too. He looked like mine a little. We’ll go back and look at our wolves and watch them. There was one time that my wolf broke his leg and when he was healing they called me and told me I could come in and visit him. He recognised me and wagged his tail and everything.”

Stiles stared at the other boy, jaw a bit slack as Derek rubbed at his eyes, that angry/confused look back. “I dunno why I told you that.” He murmured, going back to the game and making Nick shoot something in the distance, and then shoot a tree, and another tree and together they had to shoot about twenty other zombies that came hurtling in because of Derek’s disruption. Stiles didn’t scold him, though, but Derek was crying a little, every so often swiping away the subtle tears. Stiles couldn’t help but feel a little elated that this reserved, grumpy guy had opened up that easily. He wanted to reciprocate, show that he knew what it felt like.

“My mom had this kitten.” He started, smiling a little. “She really liked that kitten. I guess it wasn’t really a kitten after a while, but she still called it a kitten.” He sighed softly, knowing he was getting off topic. “When my mom was really sick, she’d have me sweet talk Mrs. McCall into letting me bring the cat in. She’d lay there, petting it and mumbling to me. After a while she got pretty incoherent. I don’t know if it was the medicine or the infection, but she would just mumble and I feel like she talked to the cat more than she talked to me. At the end, she died with it in her hands.”  
Swallowing and shaking his head, Stiles willed himself not to cry. Derek was laying there, staring at him intently with this look that was reassuring, knowing. Stiles went on.  
“After we got back to the house, the cat would walk around meowing and shitting on the carpets. I know it missed her, but I missed her more and I wasn’t yelling and ruining our floors. It just seemed really unfair to me. One day I left the back door open for a couple hours and the cat got out. Afterwards I felt really bad so I went looking for it. I looked for hours and hours but I couldn’t find it.”  
The story got a little dark towards the end, definitely not the fluffy end to Derek’s, but it was still something he’d never told anyone before and suddenly Derek’s hand was on his shoulder and he smiled at the other boy, clearing his throat and turning back to the game. The played another round in silence before getting back to the work.

It was awkward. Intensely awkward, so Stiles lied and said he needed to get back to his dad (who was probably still on call) and fled the scene after giving Derek’s his phone number. He felt weird doing it because last time he gave someone his number, it was literally just handed back to him, but Derek let him program his number into that fancy fucking phone of his.


	2. Study Session 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh it's so hard writing things with plot god but here have this ooh also Derek has a tumblr which I find immensely funny sometimes I stay up at night thinking about it, laughing to myself

The next day, Stiles wondered if things would go back to normal. If Derek would continue to treat him like crap and watch as his teammates shouted insults at him in the locker room and shoved him into walls and kick the shit out of him until he was close to tears. In chemistry, Derek surprised Stiles by sitting beside him without hesitation. He got out the work they’d finished the night before and gave Stiles a friendly nod in acknowledgement. Gaping, Stiles glanced around to make sure he hadn’t been nodding at someone else before leaning over, staring at the guy suspiciously.

“Is this going to be a thing now?” He asked, lifting an eyebrow inquisitively. “Not that I mind because, honestly, you treating me like a human being does wonders for my street cred, but won’t your friends disown you for talking to me in person?”  
Derek gives Stiles a bored look, his frown barely there as he waits for Stiles to finish. “I can’t fail this class.” He says, finally, turning to look over his work. “And if Harris sees me with you he’ll know we’ve been studying together and won’t fail us. We are not in cahoots, Stilinski.” He spared a glance over at the other kid. “But I could probably stand to treat you like a human being, if it really means that much to you.”  
Stiles smirked at the underlying humour in the sentence and wiggled in his seat for a moment. Derek Hale was probably one of the coolest assholes he’s met.

That evening, they went back to the Hale manor (despite Derek’s whining that Stiles is never going to want to study at the Stilinski house) and sprawled out on the bed again. Stiles had definitely grown fond of the bed in the small amount of time he’d had to admire it. When he fell back on it this time, he let out a soft sigh as he stroked the covers.  
“Stop that. It’s freaking me out.” Derek murmured as he went over to his laptop and opened it, clicking away for a moment. Stiles spent this time getting out work and starting it as best he could. Finally, Derek made his way back to the bed and plopped down as they started studying.

This session felt more comfortable, like they had cracked this barrier by spilling their guts the day before, but Stiles was sure it wasn’t going to happen again. It’s not like Derek was necessarily itching to tell someone about this traumatising event. Stiles thought of a good metaphor for Derek’s situation. After getting your tonsils out, it leaves these wounds that makes it hard to chew and talk and it hurts, but he’d read somewhere that a girl was encouraged by a friend to start chewing bubblegum because it did something with the wounds that helped them heal. At first it hurt. It hurt a lot and she could barely do it, but after the few initial chews, the girl felt the pain subside and the wounds healed up nice and good. Maybe Stiles had to be Derek’s metaphorical bubblegum! Get him to chew and chew until the initial pain is over and he’s ready to move past it. It’s going to be pretty hard to get the guy to pry open his jaw, though.

After a while, Derek got up to go to the bathroom and Stiles took this time to snoop. He’d been meaning to ever since he stepped foot in the house, but he didn’t get the chance last session. He leapt up from the bed and stumbled over to the laptop, something that kept catching his eye, and went to check what sort of websites Derek liked to lurk on.

Stiles wasn’t sure what he was expecting, considering Derek, but it certainly wasn’t a blog filled with angsty quotes, pictures of himself, and text posts describing his day-to-day issues. One of those being...  
“What?” Stiles breathed as he clicked the “read more” link.

As usual, life kinda sucks, but it’s sucking a little more than usual lately. It’s not like it’s a secret on here that I’ve figured out I like guys sometimes, but it’s been a bigger problem as of late. There’s this guy and he’s just... wow. I’ve never been that attracted to someone, but he’s just... god. It’s driving me crazy. He’s on my lacrosse team and it’s like fate is teasing me or something it’s awful. I hate it. I know it won’t happen because there’s a girl I think but I’m not sure... I hope there isn’t but... y’know... there always is. I don’t want help with this because, obviously, there’s not much I can do, but it was good to get it off my chest.

Thanks.

Stiles floundered, mouth opening and closing as he reread it. So... Derek liked guys? It didn’t sound like girls were out of the picture, but who knows. And someone on the team? It wasn’t Danny, who Stiles saw as the epitome of attractive guys that other guys would be attracted to, because if it was then a girl wouldn’t be an issue. Jackson was, admittedly, gorgeous... and there was definitely a girl with him. He and Derek talked sometimes but it doesn’t seem friendly, but still a definite maybe. There’s always Isaac who has that prettyboy charm and he’s always so nice to everyone, despite how shitty his life must be, but there’s also Boyd who is this sculpturesque guy with brains and wit... definitely boyfriend material, and he’s got Erica who could be the girl. Stiles shook his head, trying to keep his mind off the subject of Derek’s romantic interest and quickly went back to the page he’d started from, hoping Derek took long pees.

He didn’t.

He was standing in the doorway, staring at Stiles with a blush on his cheeks. So he knew how embarrassing and incriminating these posts were. Stiles swallowed thickly, giving the other guy an apologetic smile as he lowered himself onto the bed. Derek stalked over to the computer, shut it, and put it into a drawer somewhere before he resolved to stand there, fists curled and his back to Stiles.  
“What did you see?” He asked softly.  
Breathing in deeply, Stiles tried to keep back the snarky comments.  
“Just some pretty nice selfies, man. Good job. I like the lighting.” He answered, picking at his nails as he watched Derek, making sure he didn’t turn around and sock him in the face.

“You read it, didn’t you?” Derek asked, lifting a hand to run over his face as he turned towards Stiles. He didn’t look angry, he just looked sad. Stiles shrugged, hoping to avoid waterworks, but not feeling comfortable lying to Derek. “Yeah.” He answered, finally, keeping his eyes trained on Derek’s furrowed brow. “But, look... I don’t want you thinking I’m gonna use it for blackmail, okay? I mean, I’m in a similar boat--” He stopped as Derek’s eyes jumped to meet Stiles’. “I... like guys too, kinda. I mean... they’re nice. They’re just another type of human. Girls are good, too. I just really like people and it doesn’t really matter what gender they are, so I get it. Sometimes there’s just that guy.” He smirked, remembering his two-year crush on Scott that ended in a great friendship.

Derek kept staring, but he looked a lot less distressed. Finally, he stalked towards Stiles and sat on the bed. “I just... I don’t want to talk about it. Not with you.” He rubbed his eyes and closed the Chemistry book they were using. “I think we’re done... thanks for helping, but I can finish it by myself.”

Stiles cursed himself the whole way home. It wasn’t a far drive, about ten minutes if he hit all red lights, but it was a long time to repeatedly remind yourself what a fuck up you are. All his life he’d been told that curiosity was going to be the end of him, and he supposed it was. He was certain that Derek was never going to talk to him again and they would fail chemistry and Stiles would have to become a janitor or something and live in his dad’s basement for the rest of his life. Plus, he was just starting to get to like Derek, at least a tiny bit. The blog was pretty much the most hilarious thing he’d ever seen, but it was kind of interesting to know that Derek had depth other than “that mopey guy”. Stiles found himself wanting to find out more (a side-effect of his nosy nature), get to know him better, get in the coveted “cahoots” with him.

When he got home, Stiles made himself an egg sandwich in the way of comfort food and fled up to his room before his father noticed he made food and asked for some. After about an hour of fucking around on the computer and seriously considering making a blog on the website Derek was on just to stalk him, Stiles got a text.

“We’re studying at yours after school tomorrow. At least then I can’t kick you out.”

There was much celebration in the way of jumping out of his seat and fist pumping/kicking out his legs. At least he didn’t royally fuck everything up.


	3. Study Session 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stiles is finally starting to get it?????? Oh my god I'm so sorry about this fic you guys I feel like I should be trying so much more. It'll be over soon, don't worry.

Tomorrow came and went faster than Stiles had anticipated. Chemistry was actually kind of fun for once with Derek there to banter with and make fun of Harris’ new tie. They were friendly enough during the drive, joking and telling stories about the day. Stiles even went so far as to give Derek a friendly punch on the arm, that of which was returned with more than a little force and an apology said through a grin.

When they made it to the Stilinski residence, Stiles noticed the extra car in the driveway, eyebrows furrowing. It’s not like he minded his dad being home -- far from it, he rarely got to see the guy -- but he wasn’t sure what the reaction to seeing Derek Hale would be. Derek wasn’t the most well-behaved student, to say the least. During his heavy mourning period, the kid had been caught drunk off his ass with open containers, stealing cars, vandalising private property, breaking into businesses, and various other ridiculous behaviour that Stiles had read during his snooping a while back (he wanted to know all about the criminal of the school, why wouldn’t he?). Sighing softly, Stiles pushed the door open, putting on a fake smile. “I’m home, dad! I brought a friend.”  
He could practically hear Derek growling at the word “friend” but Stiles didn’t really care. It’s not like he could say “Hey dad, this is the guy that you arrested like a billion times last year. Wouldn’t you know it, we’re both failing chemistry so we were pushed into this unfair study buddy group. Okay, we’ll be up in my room!”

His dad emerged from the dining room with his glasses set low on his nose. “Oh, hi Stiles!” He greeted with a small smile, but when his eyes landed on Derek, it fell immediately.  
“What is he doing here?” The elder Stilinski asked with forced politeness. Derek at least had the decency to look ashamed, trying not to look the other man in the eye. Stiles swallowed thickly. “We’re both in chemistry together. Harris assigned groups and he’s mine. We’re gonna go study now.” He said quickly, grabbing Derek’s sleeve and pulled him away from the A+ glowering his dad was doing.

When they got to Stiles’ room, he plopped down on his bed, arm covering his eyes. He was definitely embarrassed, but Derek didn’t seem to mind. He actually had the decency to look kind of shameful, falling onto the computer chair heavily.  
“Sorry...” He said, finally, surprising Stiles. What’s this guy doing apologising? It’s not like he had flaunted his criminal record in front of the Sheriff, or was rude or disrespectful like one would expect from a delinquent such as himself. Blinking rapidly, Stiles sat up, watching Derek carefully. “Why? It’s in the past and my dad likes scaring people, especially people I consider friends. You have to have balls to be friends with the Sheriff’s son. Some people can’t take the pressure.”  
Derek was smirking by the time Stiles finished, shrugging off the other boy’s dismissal. “Yeah, but... still. I was stupid and a dick to your dad in the past and it was rude of me to invite myself over.” He wrung his hands in embarrassment, suddenly looking really uncomfortable. Stiles decided to remedy that.  
“Dude, stop thinking about the past so much. You were an idiot for a few months as a coping method. No one’s really blaming you and at least you’re not addicted to meth and I totally consider that a victory. You’re actually pretty cool if I may say so myself even if I feel weird not bowing to you sometimes or like baring my neck in submission but that could be the effects of the PTSD you and your friends have etched into my brain from years of torture and humiliation, but that’s all behind us now, right? Yeah so I’m gonna start talking we should probably study.”

Derek looked like he had just been told he was pregnant or something because he was staring at Stiles with this incredulous look that was teetering between disbelieving and guilty. He ducked his head suddenly, nodding subtly as he gathered his book and paper out of his bag and met Stiles on the bed.

They studied and worked in relative silence with the exception of a few comments made here and there expressing Stiles’ pure fiery hatred for the school system and what it has done to his generation. Suddenly, Derek paused his work, looking up to watch Stiles mumbling about how stupidly named most of the elements were.

“I mean, nickel I can get. It’s just NI and that makes sense, but LEAD? The word “lead” has neither a P nor a B in it and yet it’s fucking symbol is Pb--”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“What is with you and apologising today?”

Stiles turned bodily towards Derek, giving him a thoughtful frown. The boy shrugged and sat back, putting his pencil down. “Dunno, making up for lost time, I guess.” He mumbled, palming his eyes. Sighing, Stiles let his pencil clatter bluntly onto the pages of the textbook. “What is it this time? Or is it just a compulsory sorry for the general shit in my life?”  
Derek smirked at that, shaking his head as he went to stretch out his torso. “No, I was thinking about what you said earlier. About the teasing and the roughhousing--”  
“The beatings and verbal abuse, let’s not try to sugarcoat things, Derek.”  
He flinched at that, nodding slowly. “Right. And I realised that it was really fucked up. I honestly don’t understand why you’re not more popular or how you haven’t ‘gotten the girl’.” Derek used his fingers as quotation marks for this and Stiles froze. The girl? Is he talking about Lydia? Did he forget what they discussed the day before?  
“Or guy...” He tried, giving Derek and inquisitive look. The other boy simply looked surprised. “Well... I guess, but haven’t you been like super into Lydia for the past stupid amount of years?” He asked, scratching his hairline. Stiles stared for a few moments, mouth slack and eyes wide. How did he know about that rumour? The rumour that had been true for about two years before Stiles was thoroughly aware that nothing was going to happen with his ridiculous middle school crush and he moved on, sometimes joking about how creepily obsessed with Lydia he was for that time and sometimes he admired the girl from afar because, c’mon, she’s fucking gorgeous, but he’s done with that.

Stiles tells Derek this, laughing at the shocked expression mixed with something else. “So you think I should be popular?” Stiles asked with a cheeky smile, wiggling his shoulders. Derek snorted, rolling his eyes. “Don’t push it, loverboy.”

The rest of the evening was spent in comfortable jest and, instead of awkwardly making excuses to leave or demanding Stiles’ immediate evacuation from the house, Derek leaves at close to 11pm and Stiles walks him out and they stand at the doorway for a moment just looking at each other before the smaller teen panicked and shut the door in Derek’s face with a shouted “goodbye”.

That was intimate, he thought, pressing his lips together. They had stood there like a pair of love struck teens waiting to see who would make the first move. As far as he knows, Stiles is not even on Derek’s radar. There’s apparently some other pretty boy out there who has the other boy’s heart, and it’s not like Stiles would say no if Derek asked him out, but that’s kind of a pipe dream at this point. Sure, his chance opened up a little bit with the whole “liking guys” thing, but the nerd girls don’t even give him attention, so why would Derek “Hottie” Hale give him a second glance?

Sighing, the teen slumped up to his room, his heart still pounding against his chest. So maybe his disinterest in Derek was a little more than disinterest. Maybe the thought of the other boy maybe liking him gave him a thrill, however bittersweet. There was something in him that thought that, maybe, he was the pretty boy on the lacrosse team with the girl that wasn’t really his. Maybe he’s the cause of Derek’s sexual crisis. It’s so unlikely it hurts, but there’s still that quiet nagging at the back of his head that says just read the damn hints.


	4. Study Session 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry... this fic is getting progressively worse.

The bus was not very forgiving to Stiles’ nap. All hard shapes and jostling movements. Still, he was able to rest his head against the smudged window and drift off for a moment. Today was the chemistry field trip to a real life chemistry lab! Everyone was waiting to arrive with baited breath. Stiles wasn’t really friends with anyone in his chemistry class besides Derek, who was sticking by his promise to stay away from Stiles as much as possible where people could actually see. It’s not like the class didn’t know that they were lab partners now, but still... Stiles understood. It was a social thing. Only the losers hung out with Stiles willingly.

This was one of the many moments in which Stiles wished he could beam Scott to him whenever he wanted. He was currently in the middle of a text conversation with the boy about how boring Algebra was. It was mainly Scott complaining and Stiles making fun of him for still being in Algebra. The squeak of faux leather caused Stiles to almost drop his phone. Glancing over, he confirmed his suspicions and suppressed a grin as he finished his text. “I thought being around me was social suicide. People are looking.” He snarked, turning his eyes to Derek who was breathing heavily and had a grumpier than usual look on his face. “I’ll take the risk.” He said, rubbing harshly at his eyes.  
“Woah... what happened?” Stiles asked, turning himself bodily towards the other boy, face melting from teasing to concerned. Derek sighed deeply, running his hands through his hair in frustration, obviously trying not to burst. Taking a leap, Stiles reached out and placed a hand on Derek’s arm, hoping to help ground him. It seemed to work as Derek deflated against the seat, eyes fluttering closed.

“Greenberg was calling some kid a faggot and it got me really fucking riled up and I told him to shut his mouth and he told me to make him and I was two fucking seconds away from just punching him straight in his mouth.” He raged, hand over his eyes as he muttered the story. Stiles blinked rapidly, actually a little surprised that Derek cared at all. The guys said shit like that in the locker room all the time. Maybe it was the concentrated environment. Maybe it was the fact that Greenberg was an asshat.  
 _Maybe it’s because he knows you now._

“Who was it?” Stiles asked, settling his back against the cool window, trying to bring his heartbeat down. _Why are you freaking out about this?_  
Derek glanced at him out of the corner of his eyes, a pained look on his face. “It was... he was talking about you.” He murmured, picking at his nails. _Oh._  
“Okay...” Stiles nodded slowly. “You know I don’t care, right? Like, me and Scott get called faggots on a daily basis, basically. It’s nothing new.”  
Derek shook his head, lips pursed. “I don’t know why it bothered me so much, but it did. Let’s just stop talking about it.”

And that was it. Stiles dropped it, started talking about the stupid fucking excuse for Harris to get out of class for once, maybe meet some cute chemist, get laid for once. They laughed and Stiles shared his ear buds and they listened to music and suddenly the bus was pulling into a parking lot and they were there. Surprisingly, Derek stuck with Stiles throughout the entire tour. He ignored Greenberg’s stage whispered comments and Stiles couldn’t help but notice how their hands kept brushing and every time they had to watch some demonstration, Derek would always stand a little too close, pretending to be very interested in some grade school chemical combination.

On the bus ride back, Greenberg decided the sit much closer to where Derek and Stiles were sitting and made snide remarks the whole way back. Towards the end of the ride after a very immature and not very creative rendition of “Derek and Stiles sitting in a tree”, Derek whirled around in his seat.

“One more fucking word from you and I’ll break you.” He close to growled. Stiles’ eyes were blown wide as he watched Greenberg shift in his seat, looking uncomfortable. The guy was big and dumb, but he wasn’t big and dumb enough to accept a challenge from Derek Hale. Making fun of him was one thing, but when there was a reaction you’d better turn tail. Derek still had stories circulating around the school of when he was reacting to his family’s death and lashed out on a couple of lacrosse players from a competing school. The kids were sent to the hospital and it was only Derek and two others against five guys.  
You don’t fuck with Derek.

They pulled into the school close to the end of the day, but they still had to go to their last period. Derek and Stiles departed with a promise of a study session.  
After school, Stiles stood by his Jeep, patiently waiting for Derek. After fifteen minutes and a no show, he realised that there wasn’t going to be any study buddy time. It was likely that Derek had decided that he’d had his Stiles quota filled for the day during the field trip, so Stiles invited Scott over.

“So... I’m helping you with what class?”  
“Chemistry.” Stiles smirked at Scott’s befuddled look. “I dunno what you think I’m going to help with, but I’m still in Biology, dude.” He said, dumbfounded at the notion that he was going to have to do work levels ahead of him. Laughing, Stiles shook his head as he pulled into his driveway. He stopped his giggles when he noticed a beat up Suburu parked on the street in front of his house. Scott noticed Stiles’ confusion, staring at the other car. “Who’s that?” He asked, lifting an eyebrow at his friend who climbed out of the Jeep slowly, as if processing information slowed down his movement.  
“Derek Hale.” He murmured, staring at the car. There was a figure in the driver’s seat, hands on the steering wheel. “Shit... I guess you should probably go ahead inside. I’m gonna see what he wants.” Stiles directed Scott, waving his hand towards the front door as he approached the Suburu.

Scott didn’t even question it as he hurried into the house. He probably assumed it had something to do with the Sheriff on the account of Derek’s record or something. That’s probably for the better, Stiles thought. He wasn’t sure how his friend would react to him getting buddy buddy with the guy who hangs out with the guys who beat the shit out of them.

The Suburu door opened and Derek climbed out slowly and it took a second to realise that his face was kind of fucked. “Greenberg.” He responded to the shocked look on Stiles’ face. He smiled weakly and Stiles noticed the split lip filling with blood and the slightly lopsided way Derek’s eyes opened with one bruised slightly and bloodshot. “Fucked him up, though. He’s not going to talk shit about you anymore, I can guarantee that.”

Stiles had a hard time reacting, his fists clenched as something shot through his veins. Finally, he wiped at his forehead that was suddenly sweating. “Um... wow. Thanks. But... Derek you didn’t have to.”  
The other boy rolled his eyes, shoving his bruised hands in his pockets. “Yeah I know. It just... he wouldn’t shut the fuck up and he was being an ass. He deserved it. Are you going to invite me in?” He chuckled slightly at the panicked flail Stiles demonstrated. “Ah, yeah! But, warning, I didn’t think you’d show up so I invited Scott over. Play nice, or whatever.” He smiled a little at Derek’s sour look.

The coffee table already had homework spread over it and Scott seemed to already be in turmoil. He barely reacted to Derek when he looked up, just a surprised look and a nod. “Need help?” The taller teen asked, gesturing towards the Biology homework Scott looked like he was going to rip his hair out over. “Yeah... please.” He said with a sigh of relief.

Not a lot of Chemistry got done, and the three ended up watching some cartoon and eating microwave popcorn Stiles had found in the back of his pantry. Scott had decided to stay the night and Derek left around 10:30. When the sound of the Suburu’s huffing disappeared, Scott rounded on his best friend.  
“What the fuck is Derek Hale doing making eyes at you?” Which was about the weirdest fucking thing to come out of Scott’s mouth considering 1) he is about as oblivious as a gnat is about its life span and 2) is definitely not someone who willingly talks about Stiles’ lack of heterosexuality.  
“ _What?_ ” Stiles stared at his friend, mouth hanging open. Scott made a show of being frustrated, frowning deeply. “The guy kept giving you these weird looks like you were a precious stone and he was a treasure hunter or something. It was kind of skeezing me out. You didn’t see him staring at you for half of Adventure Time? And it was the fucking dream episode! That’s a kickass episode and he wasn’t even paying attention! He was staring at your mouth.”

At the end of Scott’s spiel he fell backwards on the couch, arm covering his eyes dramatically. Stiles adopted a blank look for a few moments, staring at his best friend as if he’d just sprouted a new eye. “What?” He said finally, eyebrows knitted together. Scott made a frustrated noise and turned towards the TV. “He wants your butt, Stiles. He wants to do gay stuff to you.”  
Okay, that deserved a small snort of amusement. “I really don’t think he wants to do gay stuff to me, Scott. He already has someone in mind, anyway. I’m pretty sure I’m on bottom of his ‘to fuck’ list.”

Scott made a grossed out face and another frustrated noise but he dropped it with a roll of his eyes. They ended up playing Amnesia and not talking about Derek’s huge gay crush on Stiles that definitely was not a thing.


	5. Final Session

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UGH SO I ENDED UP HATING THIS THING GOD DAMN. I started out in love with the story and the plot and then it went somewhere else and I couldn't help it and other things happened and I started writing the last chapter and it was GOD AWFUL WOW and so I started over and that was a little better and I wrote an end scene and then I deleted it and JESUS CHRIST I'M SO GLAD I FINISHED IT. I'm sorry if this is REALLY disappointing to everyone but I seriously can not write this anymore.
> 
> HOWEVER I'm starting on a new AU called Sniff n Scratch where Stiles is a druggie and Derek is his new dealer and there's a lot of crazy stuff and I like that but knowing me it'll go to hell. Hopefully I control myself better with this one.
> 
> ANYWAY ENJOY SORRY AGAIN

After Scott’s insightful comment the day before, Stiles became hyper-aware of everything Derek did. It might be misconstrued as wishful thinking, because every time Derek stepped just a little too close or, hell, even simply acknowledged his existence in front of other people, Stiles got this weird feeling in the pit of his stomach and this hopeful look in his eyes. Derek was getting... friendlier, for a lack of a better word. He would spend more time around Stiles than necessary for them to pass Chemistry. He would catch up to the younger boy in the halls and he was _smiling_ a lot. The thing that really tore at Stiles was the backlash Derek was getting for being... well... happier. The guys in the locker rooms were teasing him about “getting a girl” or “going soft” which... seemed really unfair. Derek was finally breaching this funk he’s been in for years (not breaking out, just starting to fight through) and he was being shamed for it. Scott tried to suppress his bitchface when Derek got his locker moved closer to Stiles’ and generally stopped talking to the other guys. Danny and Jackson, surprisingly, declared themselves neutral in the weird passive-aggressive battle of the Beacon Hills Lacrosse Team, but found themselves more often than not with Derek, Scott, and Stiles.

It seemed that Derek was actually making good choices for himself, instead of just doing what he was expected as the big ‘n’ tuff second year senior with a criminal record. After getting mostly rejected from the rest of the lacrosse team, Derek started sitting with Stiles and Scott and Scott was perpetually freaked out by the development. Despite his lack of badass, athletic buddies, Derek was still the school bad boy, so simply being around the two losers raised their cred, which both boys were kind of basking in. Not getting beat up as much certainly had its perks.

All of this considering, Derek and Stiles’ interactions were bound to school interactions and study sessions. It was during one of said sessions, however, that this started to change.

It was a couple weeks since the Chemistry field trip. Both boys were flying through Chemistry, able to keep each other in check work-wise and teaching each other worked so much better than actually paying attention in class. They were sprawled out on Stiles’ bed with Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeroes playing softly in the background when Derek cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Maybe we should study at a coffee shop tomorrow.” He suggested, trying to sound casual and failing miserably. Stiles stared at him for a moment before his eyes narrowed. “It’s a Saturday.” He said, slowly, as if testing the other boy. Derek shrugged, scratching at his paper idly without actually writing anything. “We don’t have to study.”  
The gears clicked in Stiles’ head, but he refused to acknowledge what Derek was trying to ask.  
“Okay... then what would we do?”  
Derek glanced from the ceiling to the wall to the bookshelf, his eyes tight. “I dunno. Talk, I guess. Drink coffee.”  
“Like a date?”  
The words were out of his mouth before he could do anything to stop it. He didn’t slap a hand comically over his mouth, but Stiles looked kind of mortified. Derek gave up on the lack of eye contact, his eyes snapping to meet Stiles’. He looked kind of like he was going to vomit as he scrambled to sit up on the bed. “Uh, nevermind. Forget it.” He snapped his book shut, wiping his forehead as he exited the room swiftly. Stiles listened to his footsteps stomping straight to the front door, slamming it shut after him.

It wasn’t until he broke out of his haze did Stiles notice that Derek had left his jacket, and it wasn’t until he was holding the thing in his hands that he realised what the fuck just happened.

He sent Derek a text that simply said ‘Starbucks down the street from me, 1:30’ because he needed to sort this out.

The next day had Stiles physically shaking as he started the Jeep. The Starbucks was a ten minute walk from his house, but he didn’t really feel up to walking. He had Derek’s jacket around his shoulders as he pulled out of the driveway.

His text from the night before was never returned, but he thought maybe Derek was just too embarrassed to respond, or nervous or whatever. Stiles had kept himself from getting angry at the outburst from the night before by analysing the conversation that led to it. While in the middle of it, Stiles found it hard to figure out what the hell Derek was asking, but thinking about it later... it was so obvious.

Why Derek was trying to ask him out, he wasn’t sure. Why he chose to go about it so stupid was equally as mysterious. The whole thing seemed so weird to Stiles that he was trying to keep himself from getting too excited over the idea that Scott might have been right all this time (with his obnoxious comments on Derek’s oggling and Stiles’ obliviousness) and Derek actually might like him, if only to avoid disappointment.

Pulling outside the Starbucks, he realised he was a good twenty minutes early, but he checked for a bruised Suburu on the way in, anyway. He got some stupidly named drink that tasted like refined sugar and a scone, choosing a seat near the window where he could people watch (and look out for Derek.)

His drink had gone cold where he’d neglected to finish it and Derek was ten minutes late. Sighing, Stiles ran a hand over his hair, trying to suppress the urge to cry in frustration. Or cry out. Probably a more manly option. Suddenly, there was a hand on his shoulder.

“The jacket looks nice on you.”

Derek’s cheeks and ears were flushed and he was wearing a hoodie that may or may not belong to Stiles (he has a lot... but it looks familiar), and he was smiling as he sat down in the opposite seat. Stiles shook himself and returned the smile with a careful smirk. “You’re late.” He sniffed, leaning back nonchalantly. Derek chuckled, rubbing at his temples. “Yeah... sorry. I was having a crisis.” He murmured. Stiles frowned, eyebrows knitting together quizzically. Derek just rolled his eyes. “I took a shot of my mom’s whisky so this would be easier.” He admitted and Stiles noticed the shaking fingers and bouncing knee. He instinctively placed a hand on Derek’s hand, hoping to still the quivering. Derek took a deep breath, his eyes fluttering shut. “I’ve been... admiring you... for a while. Well, that’s an understatement.” He looked incredibly distressed with his eyes squeezed shut. “I’ve always thought you were... attractive. Like ever since you got to the high school your Freshman year and tried out for lacrosse. You were amazing. Not at lacrosse, obviously--” There was a snort from Stiles that Derek responded to with a smirk, “--but just in general. The way you moved and said stuff... I envied that. I knew about your mom and how you dealt with it and after all my stuff happened... I was really jealous of how you handled it, I guess. I dunno, I was just really confused. I knew I liked you but it was hard for me to act on it. Then Harris assigned us as partners and it was perfect. You were still so great and intimidating and I wasn’t even sure how to approach you about... it. Any of it. Then you said you were bi and I felt like I was going to burst because I knew I could have you, there was this chance. It... it’s still hard, though.”

He opened his eyes to the shocked face of Stiles whose cheeks were flushed and mouth was hanging open slightly. Derek could see the peak of a tongue just behind the boy’s teeth and focused on that for a moment. “I can’t just _like people_ I guess. It’s more complicated than that. But I like you and I’ve come to terms with that. It would be really awesome if you liked me too, but... y’know. I get it.” He was smiling as his eyes went to meet Stiles’ and they were sad, as if he actually expected the other boy to reject him.

“Yeah of course I like you, dipshit.” Stiles said, using his free hand that wasn’t currently entangling its fingers with Derek’s to whap him over the head. “And here I thought I was the one with the weird gay crush. Turns out it was both of us.” He laughed quietly, moving his extra hand to rest on Derek’s forearm. “That’s probably for the better, actually.” He looked thoughtful for a moment as Derek simply stared, looking a bit dumbfounded. “No, yeah it’s definitely for the better because now I can kiss you.”

Derek started at this, almost yanking his hands away. “Not in public!” He almost exclaimed, face turning a stupid shade of red. Stiles just rolled his eyes, trying not to pay attention to the look or two they were getting. “You’ll never grow if you don’t take risks, bucko.” He said, thinking he sounded like he had hopped out of some shitty self healing book or something. Derek adopted this really painful look before he pulled Stiles forward by the collar of the leather jacket and kissed him gently, chaste and sweet, before pulling away.

Blinking rapidly a few times, Stiles looked dumbstruck. “I was kind of joking, but yeah... okay.” He said with a nod, tightening the grip he had on Derek’s hand and letting his lips stretch into a smile. “So... is this a thing now?” He asked, punctuating it with a wink. Derek chuckled, thumb brushing against Stiles’ knuckles. “Yeah... yeah I think it can be a thing.” He said, quietly, a blissed out look on face.

And it was. That Monday, Derek seemed to have some sort of breakthrough. He even went so far as to hold Stiles’ hand under their desk in Chemistry and honestly... Stiles was happier than he’s ever been... and he has a feeling Derek is, too.


End file.
